Take your teen between four eyes and set rules together that you can follow. Talk to him about what is absolutely impossible: getting in a car with a stranger, getting into a car with someone who has been drinking, etc. Talk about alcohol and cannabis and have a clear and unambiguous attitude towards it. In addition, the topic of sexuality should have been discussed beforehand, regardless of the publications. Make sure you are reached by phone if necessary, especially if your child is on their first trips. Do you know of any other good places to enjoy a family outing in New York? Gradually familiarize your child with the subject of excursions. What will he live at 16 when he has already experienced everything at 14? He doesn`t need to go to the latest trendy disco right away. A movie night, a meeting with friends, an invitation to classmates, the village party or the neighborhood party are a good start. This should be discussed with the children. Young people often make reasonable suggestions about their exit times. The first trip to the movies with friends doesn`t have to start at 8 p.m., when it goes just as well at 6 p.m. The following recommendations from the Zurich Office for drug prevention can be used as a guide.
Summary Teen excursions at what age? Which excursions according to age? Manage the exits of his teenage outings and trust the parent-adolescent outings and the teenage autonomy outings trust him accept the teenage outings during. Fancy a little night walk? The police have the right to arrest a minor on the street when he is alone and in the middle of the night. Beware of embarrassing situations: minors rescued on the public highway are taken home with the joy of explaining themselves to their parents in the presence of the police. In some situations, it is the teenager who may not trust him for the excursions. « Sometimes he wants to do things, he wants to gain autonomy, but he has fears and doesn`t always dare to talk about them, » says Aline Nativel Id Hammou. In this case, as a parent, we can take the lead, for example, « by asking him if he wants to go alone, if he wants to join his friends first so that they can go together, if the parents can take them with him, if he prefers to ride a bike instead of public transport. We must try to understand what would be best for him, but we must also bring him back to the principles of reality, such as the question of distances. The parent must then make solutions, suggestions, so that the teenager does not feel deprived of his desire and that he has the impression that we are doing things for him. Finally, if your teen really doesn`t seem sure of himself, don`t hesitate to say no by explaining why, because « it`s up to the parents to judge what is feasible or what is not ». Did your daughter drink too much? Your son didn`t get home by bus on time? Removing all expenses is not a solution now. Young people can learn from their mistakes.
Talk about the situation that occurred and insist that the established rules were not followed. « What parents say and do always leaves a mark on children, even if it doesn`t immediately bring the desired result, » says renowned family therapist Jesper Juul. In such a situation, it may be a good idea to talk about yourself instead of incriminating the child with accusations: « I was worried because you didn`t come home in the framework we had planned together. » Try to understand what went wrong and ask your child what solutions they offer. « What are you going to do to get him to play next time? » And ask him what effects he himself considers justified. Young people are often harder on themselves than parents. For operations outside the European© Union, depending on the country, the minor must© present a passport, the authorization to leave the territory and the documents requested©©by the host country to which he is going (example: visa, ©reservation on the spot, return ticket,..). It all depends on him. It is up to the parent to assess their level of seriousness and responsibility. I would say that we need to move forward gradually. Show him that we don`t want to imprison him, but that freedom is not a matter of course. And remind him that parents have a moral and legal responsibility towards their minor children. It also seems to me that it all depends on where the teenager wants to go.
If it is a birthday with a friend whose parents are known, you can leave it from the age of 13 with a limit of hours (maximum 23 hours). For the elderly, you have to trust them and let go of a little ballast. But one late trip per weekend seems like a maximum to me. After that, they are too tired to learn properly. How old should we look for them? Before the age of 16, it is best to pick them up at the agreed time. Around the corner to avoid shame! After 16 years, we can let them come back together by metro (if it`s not too late) or, better, by taxi. Then come the themes related to puberty: romantic and friendly relationships, harassment, sexuality and the theme of the evening. « A night with friends is not the same as a `dancing` party where there can be alcohol, whether with friends or outside.
Parents must therefore have a glimpse of what their teenager can do, » explains Aline Nativel Id-Hamou. Before allowing such excursions, she suggests « testing » the teenager with other activities. « We can set a timetable for him to come back and see if he sticks to it. It must be clear to him that, depending on his behavior, this will have consequences for the next outing: either he will have more freedom, or he will have more restrictions. Everyone must understand that it is a give-and-take and that the teenager gains autonomy when he respects the wishes of his parents, « adds our expert. From a clinical point of view, it is assumed that preadolescence begins between the ages of 10 and 12 and adolescence between the ages of 13 and 14. It is rather from this second phase that your child will begin to go out. And inevitably, the first question that comes to mind is: at what age should my teen be allowed to go out? For Aline Nativel Id Hammou, it is not necessarily a question of « true age ». « It is emotional maturity that should be considered as an adult parent or speaker, » says the psychologist. Because maturity is not a question of age, but of the profile of each individual, and not all teenagers will be ready to go out at the same time! In the same way, depending on maturity, we can say yes when an adult is present or when he is accompanied by friends we know well.
Schedules must also be taken into account: we can first accept day trips and wait before approving them in the evening. The first time a teenager asks to go out, it is necessarily a small shock for the parents. So « they ask a lot of questions, it`s not always recommended, » explains the psychologist. It`s normal to have questions, the whole thing is to formulate them well and not to let them all out at the same time. Your child would then risk turning against himself. It is better to calmly discuss with him the planned activity, ask him how he planned, organize himself for transportation and possibly the budget. This will calm you down and he will be able to show you that he is autonomous.